YouTube star Landon Clifford struggled with his mental health, was hooked on various prescription drugs and hanged himself in his garage, his heartbroken wife has revealed.
Landon Clifford, 19, ran a YouTube channel with his wife Camryn, 19, where they went as Cam&Fam and had more than 1.35million subscribers.
Camryn announced that Landon passed away on August 18 after suffering a brain injury, without providing further details.
On Thursday Camryn released a new emotional YouTube video explaining how he died and that her husband was privately struggling with anxiety and depression and had ADHD since he was child.
She said on August 13 he hanged himself in the garage of their home and she cut him down with a knife and called police.
He spent six days in a coma in the hospital and was declared brain dead on August 18.
Camryn Clifford, the wife of YouTube star Landon Clifford, 19, revealed he suffered with his mental health, was hooked on various medications and hanged himself in their garage on August 13. After six days in a coma he was declared brain dead on August 18
Landon and Camryn, both 19, ran a popular YouTube channel Cam&Fam where they boasted more than 1.35million subscribers
Camryn said that Landon fell into a depression after they welcomed their second Delilah Rose Clifford in May. The couple share two daughters – Collette Briar Clifford, two, and Delilah, three months.
‘He has had mental health issues for as long as I have known him. He suffered from anxiety and depression. He has ADHD which he has had since he was a little boy, so his whole life he’s always just kind of struggled with his emotions and just the way his brain was wired,’ Camryn said.
Camryn said Landon went to see a psychiatrist to help with his panic attacks, depression and trouble focusing and he was given three medications.
But he fell into a dangerous cycle where he took ADHD medication in the morning and anti-anxiety medication, meant only for panic attacks, to calm down at night.
‘It was kind of a lethal mixture of these two very strong, heavy drugs, both very addicting and he just kind of fell into a hole,’ Camryn revealed.
She said Landon was privately struggling with anxiety, depression and had ADHD since he was a child and got caught in a ‘vicious cycle’ of taking medication
Camryn shared this photo resting a hand on Landon as he was in the hospital in a coma
‘He needed the uppers to get up in the morning and downers to slow down at night. And the more downers he took at night the more uppers he needed to get up… So it was a very, very vicious cycle and he just kept taking more and more and needed more for his body to feel his effects,’ she added.
She said she wasn’t aware he was abusing medication and though the two felt a short bliss following the birth of Delilah the reality of looking after two kids ‘hit us hard’.
They took a break and stayed separately with their families to work on their mental health and for Landon to ease off drugs.
She said after going home to his family in Dallas he told his psychiatrist he was addicted to his medications and only stayed on anti-depressants.
‘It really seemed like things were looking up and we were getting back into our normal routine,’ she said.
On August 13 Landon apologized to Camryn for giving her a hard time. He said he was going to take a bath and Camryn later found him unresponsive in the garage. She called police and he was rushed to the hospital
The couple welcomed their second daughter, Delilah Rose Clifford, in May
But on August 13, Camryn said she sensed something off with Landon.
Camryn went out with a friend and when she got home they had dinner and went through their typical night time routine, but she could tell something was wrong with Landon.
‘He said that he was sorry for everything he put me through. It was really hard on me when I was pregnant and he was heavy in his addiction and he really just wasn’t himself at that time. He was just apologizing to me for everything. I could tell he was putting a lot of blame on himself,’ Camryn said.
‘I told him that I loved him and that I forgave him and things are different now and we’re on a new path. I gave him a hug and a kiss and told him that I love him and that it’s okay,’ she added.
Landon said he was going to take a bath, which he does every night before bed.
About 30 minutes later she started to hear her first daughter Collette start to wake up and fuss.
Concerned Camryn went to the bathroom to check on Landon and found it empty, the bathtub apparently unused.
She went into her kids’ rooms and didn’t find him there.
‘Then I went to the garage and when I opened the garage I saw that he had hanged himself,’ she said.
‘He didn’t look alive. He was very pale and I was in so much shock and it took me a second to realize that it was actually happening,’ she added.
She ran to the kitchen to get a knife to cut him down and called 911. She said she checked him for a pulse and couldn’t find one.
EMT workers were able to get Landon’s pulse back.
Carmyn and Landon married June 2019 and share two daughters Collette Briar Clifford, two, and Delilah, three months
‘Today we celebrate his life,’ Camryn said in a Saturday post, posing with friends and family
He spent days in a hospital in a coma and was declared brain dead on August 18.
Camryn said he was a registered organ donor.
‘He always put others above himself. Even in death, he was caring about people,’ she said.
Camryn said she saw comforting signs even as she said goodbye to Landon.
He was in room 22 and was announced brain dead at 2:22 – a number special to the couple as they got married on June 22.
Camryn said Landon did not leave a note.
‘I know Landon. I know he was not thinking rationally. He’s a very impulsive person. He always has been and he does things without thinking and I think he felt guilty about how everything has gone for the past year and I think he just felt like a burden and like we’d be better off without him, which is so far from the truth and I wish he would have known that,’ Camryn said.
‘I am heartbroken. Collette is confused. There is no way that we’re better off without him,’ she added.
Camryn said she’s opening up about his tragic death to urge other people going through similar suffering to get help.
‘If he knew everything that would follow after he did what he did, he wouldn’t have. That’s why I am here to tell his story because there are so many people out there who need to hear about what comes after,’ she said.
If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255)